Intimacy in the age of always-on tech

If you’ve spent any time online lately you’ve probably noticed it feels like men and women are being pitted against each other. The ‘gender wars’ are loud and attention-grabbing, but what’s actually happening underneath all that noise is more complex. 

@mk_who

decentering men literally just means women prioritizing their own needs and desires and divesting from male validation

♬ original sound - MK

The discourse is alive and growing, and it seems like we are each shouting into a void, despite it being a time when there are more ways to connect than ever. And intimacy in all of this? Well, that seems harder and harder to locate. And is the topic of this week’s show. 

This episode is a conversation with Kaamna Bhojwani -- a sexologist who draws from her degrees in psychology, deep spirituality study and personal experience to ask what it means to connect in our world today.

@theintersectshow

 

♬ original sound  - theintersectshow

Kaamna’s background is also rooted in studying sexual shame -- how it’s shaped by culture, internalized through silence and too often left unexamined. A lot of my own thinking around intimacy and self-worth comes from this same space. These ideas -- these constructs -- don’t just live in our heads. They literally shape how we show up with each other.

It’s easy to criticize technology and ChatGPT for getting in the way of human connection. But as Kaamna and I discuss, these tools might actually be offering us an opportunity -- not just to connect with ourselves and our preferences, but to unpack the feelings and thoughts that are hard to bring up with a person. 

Bots don’t carry the same judgment a human does. They don’t enforce the same stigma. It’s easier to tell them the truth without feeling that sense of shame. (We should still be mindful about privacy and data ownership when we do that, btw.) But it does mean that we might finally have the space to say what we want. To name our shame. To reclaim something.

Kaamna and I have a far-reaching conversation about the illusion of connection, the idea that you can get it quickly by way of a tap on your phone. We covered the rise of relational tech and how AI is being used in therapy, sex and dating. And how when used intentionally, it can actually help us build the kind of relationships we want. 

She’s currently exploring what’s going on with young men and tech and we’ll absolutely have her back. But for now I hope you’ll listen to this one. 

Here is this week’s episode: ‘What is really going on with Sex and Tech’ 

Cory 

Some of what I am reading this week: 

Laid-off workers should manage their emotions with AI, says Xbox producer
A real quote -- ‘get in touch with your inner child’ via chatbot -- this is where we are in the AI-powered future of labor
By Ash Parrish (The Verge)

Comparing ChatGPT and McDonald’s
The commodification of intelligence and the fast food-ification of everything -- this meme essay is both hilarious and spot on
By Adian Walker (How to do things with Memes) 

The revolution in trust: how AI is transforming human connection
A sweeping look at how AI is reshaping who -- and what -- we trust, and why that may be the most radical shift of all
By Kevin Werbach (Foreign Affairs)

OpenAI shuts down for a week -- and Meta is watching
OpenAI is going quiet for a full week and insiders say Meta’s circling -- the pause says as much as the progress
(Times of India)

Denmark’s plan to fight deepfakes? Give citizens copyright to their face
An actually radical idea, and one that could set real precedent: if your face is your data, maybe it should also be your property
By Lucas Ropek (Gizmodo)

Facebook is now scraping private photos for AI training
Meta has started feeding unpublished images into its AI -- from your camera roll to their model, no opt-in needed … 
By Mia Sato (The Verge)

Nike, Substack and the rise of corporate fandom
What happens when brands launch newsletters that feel more like stan accounts? ‘Branded communities’ are popping up all over the place
By Daniel-Yaw Miller (Sportsverse)

How AI is breaking (and remaking) dating apps
One VC’s take on how AI companions and bots are already shifting intimacy and digital courtship -- for better or worse
By Amber Atherton (Business Insider)